Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
