i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
