her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
