College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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