we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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