so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
