He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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