Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
