there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
