i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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