he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
they're like a gay fantastic four
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
