Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
