did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize