Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
try to milk me bitch
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
