you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
