Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
