God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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