Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
