I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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