i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
