I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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