i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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