this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
