drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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