I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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