Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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