Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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