You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My hand turned me down
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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