Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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