i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
