i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize