Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
