DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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