my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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