dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
