Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
