Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
