Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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