Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
