Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
