Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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