we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
