His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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