dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize