im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
