just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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