but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
