You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
