Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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