my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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