Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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