Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
