You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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