People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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