nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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