We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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