But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
