Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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