uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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