He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
whose parrot is this?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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