My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
