fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
