Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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