I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
